5 Lesbian Dating Rules

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Did you know there are rules when it comes to lesbian dating? Okay, so they’re not like formal rules, and they aren’t necessarily written down anywhere (wait, does this count?), but they exist. They’re the kind of unspoken rules that help us to be appropriate in social interactions and get along well with other people. So, what we’re trying to say is, the rules are here to help. Keep reading to find out what we mean:

1. Who Pays On a Date?

It’s been a touchy subject for all of lesbian dating history: you don’t want to assume that the other person will pay for you, but at the same time, you don’t want to offer to pay if your date was already planning on taking care of it. Tricky, right? Well, a rule we like to follow is that the person who asked for the date ought to pay for it. If you’re asking a hot lady to have dinner with you, be classy and plan to pay for it.

2. Her House or Yours?

This isn’t always a tricky thing, but when it is we have some suggestions. It’s sort of like the Ocam’s razor of lesbian dating: if there’s an option that is simple and easy for both of you, do that. If it’s unclear, this is a good time to practice communicating with your date. If you need to be up early for work or need some stuff from your place before you spend the night somewhere, be straightforward about it. Ask if she has wants or needs around this issue and let that communication lead you to a compromise. We think compromise is sexy.

3. Be Equals

It can be a tricky thing in a same-sex relationship to be more out (or less out) than your partner. An imbalance in this part of a relationship can lead to a lot of uncomfortable situations. We have no judgment about these life decisions and we know it’s a different process for everyone. But it’s important to remember that your partner may be more or less open with their sexual orientation than you are. We think directness and honesty are the best policy here. Let your partner know that you don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable situation and ask about her level of openness in the parts of her life that you’re interacting with. Then let her know what it’s like in your life. It will help ensure you’re on the same page and will bring you closer together.

4. Spend Time Apart

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Cliches exist for a reason, you guys. Is has been recommended that lesbian couples spend some time apart, especially while they’re still dating. Doing this can help both people retain their personal identities and experience the growing relationship as individuals. Learning to be apart from the other person a little more often just means learning to love spending time with yourself. It can actually help to make the relationship stronger in the long run.

5. Take It Slow

Deciding if a person is really the right one for you takes some time. You should also take some time before deciding to move in with another person (yes, longer than two weeks, ladies). Moving in with someone is a very big step in a romantic relationship and despite our indiscretions in years past, moving in together is not something to take lightly. Give it at least 6 months. It probably seems like a long time to wait right now, but it will totally be worth it. There’s just way too much to get to know before making that decision, so do yourself and your partner a favor and take this part nice and slow.

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