You see it everywhere these days. More and more often, older women are dating younger guys. You see it in politics and in the entertainment industry. You might even see it right in your own community.
These relationships have its typical criticisms–she must feel like she’s babysitting, he doesn’t look like he could take anything seriously–many still wonder why so many women still flock to dating sites to find younger guys.
Below are the top reasons older women are dating younger guys. The reasons might surprise you!
What Older Women Dating Younger Guys Are Thinking
If you can’t wrap your head around the idea of older women getting together with younger guys, below are some reasons that can shed light on this dating phenomenon.
Reason one: Younger men make older women feel sexy
There is no confidence boost like the one an older woman feels when she wakes up next to a hot younger guy. When you really think about it, the undivided attention and admiration of a younger guy is the clear winner when paired against the bored presence of a much less hot, similarly aged man.
A lot of older women fear being labeled as “past their prime” as they begin to show the physical signs of aging. For many of them, dating a younger man is their way of showing society that they’ve “still got it.”
Perhaps it’s a superficial reason for them to choose a partner–and perhaps a sign of poor-self-esteem. But the truth is women tend to receive exceptional amounts of attention while they’re young and hot. When this attention fades, many of them desperately search for evidence that they’re still young and hot. And this is the role that a toyboy partner can provide.
A lot of older women love being able to snag a guy that her younger, hotter peers are also chasing.
Older women crave the attention they used to receive when they were younger. But very often older men simply won’t provide this. If you’re a younger guy seeking an older woman to date online, remember this reason for why she’s there. And make sure you communicate you’re willing to provide.
This is such a big reason that entire dating sites for these relationships have popped up in the past several years. These sites have millions of attractive older women and younger guys interested in dating them. Every year we review hundreds of these sites. And we put together our list of top cougar dating websites that bring together older women and younger men.
Reason two: Stamina
You hear it over and over–younger men have more energy, more sexual drive, and more stamina in the bedroom than the older competition.
And that’s because it’s true!
A male’s testosterone production tends to be at its highest in his late teens. This is why so many of them are obsessed with sex and would love the idea of doing the dirty several times per day.
Most of them are more than equipped to do so. It’s easiest for a male to reach his peak fitness in his late teens and early twenties too. His body has fully developed. So it has yet to suffer all the aches and pains associated with old age.
For an older woman with a ferocious sex drive, this combination is likely to sound like a dream come true.
Older women–who are often in their sexual peak–[obviously] desire this over begging a man of her age to please try to keep up.
If you can blow her mind in the bedroom (perhaps several times in one night) this will score you so many points over the typical older guy. A mismatch in sex drives is one of the biggest reasons women leave older men for younger pups. In fact, a lot of ravenous older women have grown to only accept men who can get the job done in the bedroom. They’ve had enough sex in their lifetime to know what good sex looks like. And a lot of them won’t accept anything less.
My advice is to not come on too strong regarding this benefit when you’re in the beginning flirtatious stage of online dating. Let her find out for herself when you get to that point, and she won’t forget.
Reason three: Drive
Women of all ages tend to be attracted to a man with ambition.
When a guy has a sparkle in his eye and an unrelenting drive to achieve his goals, this can be incredibly attractive. His passion and enthusiasm draw women along for the ride, even if he hasn’t achieved too much success yet.
A young go-getter can be more enticing than an established gentleman who has already achieved everything he has set to do in the world.
This is especially the case if the successful man has lost the fire in his belly and his zest for life. Where’s the excitement there?
Younger men tend to retain a natural hunger for success and adventure. A lot of older guys are either resting on their past achievements or (even worse) have given up on success and become bitter.
You can use this to your advantage when you find yourself in the various locations where it’s easy to find single cougars looking for guys.
When communicating online with an older woman you want to date, be sure to talk about your aspirations and your goals. She’ll love to know what you have in store for your future!
Reason four: Dating younger guys means less baggage
Older men on the dating scene have often experienced loss. Perhaps they’ve lost the love of their life, their parents, their jobs or their hopes of having the successful career they always dreamed of.
This creates a sense of bitterness or helplessness that is no fun to be around. It’s even worse when he can’t separate himself from these ghosts of his past. Women dating divorced family men will usually be unable to avoid encounters with his ex-wife and children. Needless to say, many would prefer not to have to deal with this.
Younger guys often haven’t experienced all this pain and heartache yet. The stress of a failed marriage or some other rough break in life is less likely to have damaged his natural enthusiasm for life. So they bring less baggage into their relationships. This lightness is incredibly attractive to older women.
Reason five: Women like dating younger guys who are more active
Millennial men tend to be far more active than older guys. The daily workout comes hand-in-hand with the 9-to-5 job. And hard work in the gym means harder bodies under the suit. Put simply, younger men tend to be more muscular and athletic than older ones. Why wouldn’t an older woman prefer that?
Older men may have often found confidence in themselves in ways that don’t require significant physical effort and output. They are comfortable with their aged bodies, and more focused on feeling achievement by pursuing other non-physical challenges.
Still, it actually requires more effort to stay in shape as you get older. A more sedentary lifestyle in your 40s and beyond will impact your gut far quicker. It’s more likely to lead to health problems too.
Although there seems to be some sort of media obsession with how sexy the “dad-bod” supposedly is, the truth is: older women never stop drooling over a perfect six-pack and bulging biceps.
Reason six: Older women will not stand for antiquated values
Older men, especially if they’re successful in their careers and other aspects of their life, have historically been able to control the women they were with. As it goes, the more successful and powerful a man is, the more control he was able to have in his sexual and romantic relationships.
The modern successful woman will not stand for this antiquated value. When dating younger guys, older women are able to enjoy themselves, fall in love, feel sexy and build more confidence without worries of being controlled or manipulated.
Reason seven: Younger guys are fun to date
Typically, younger men dating older women are more eager than their older competition to ensure their date has a great time. Younger guys know where the new cool cocktail places pop up, where the local bands are playing shows and where the best picnic spots are.
They’re willing to go on hikes, on bike rides by the river or up the dark staircase to crack a bottle of wine on the roof of their apartment complex. Younger guys are so much more fun to date than older ones who are set in their ways. And older women seeking younger men to date are up for the adventure.
As a younger guy dating an older woman, it’s important to remember she needs this spontaneity and effort to experience new things.
When you’re organizing your first date with an older woman, it could pay off to put some effort into finding a unique and fun activity to enjoy. Perhaps something neither of you has tried before.
You don’t have to completely rewrite the dating rule book. Anything outside of a bar or coffee shop would work. Crazy golf, roller disco, ax throwing, ice skating, wind tunnels, escape rooms or even a home-made picnic in the park. The possibilities are endless when you open your mind. Browse through Facebook Events to find unique activities in your area. If you live in a big city, there should be loads of date spots for older women and younger guys.
This gesture demonstrates the desire for excitement and adventure that so many older women appreciate in a younger partner. It’s the kind of move that someone her own age would never pull. Most older guys are stuck in their ways and not ready to be taught new tricks.
Reason eight: Less pressure
Older men in the dating market are often looking for someone they can marry quickly and spend the rest of their lives within comfortable happiness. If this is the type of relationship and security she’s looking for, then there’s nothing a younger guy can do about it. But the vast majority of older women on the dating market are not looking for a quick commitment. That’s just too much pressure for them.
Younger guys don’t care about this so much. They’re primarily concerned with enjoying their youth, trying new experiences and perhaps establishing themselves financially. A wife and kids is something they can think about in the distant future. Time is on their side. This relaxed attitude to dating is far more easy to enjoy.
Dating a younger guy means that an older woman can take the relationship slowly. She can enjoy the “honeymoon period” of a new romance without being made to worry what it’s leading to. There’s no pressure to make huge commitments or make the next step towards her happily ever after. Ironically, this lack of neediness tends to make women want to tie a man down more!
Reason nine: More control
She knows she has more experiences than her younger partner. She knows she makes more money. And she has lived through more significant events and knows how to maneuver through situations her younger partner may not.
A lot of older women love to play the role of teacher. They enjoy teaching their young pups all about life. They enjoy showing them new moves in the bedroom.
If you’re comfortable with this and are able to show a natural curiosity for parts of her life you know nothing about, this can help your older woman feel far more purposeful.
She’s confident in herself and she’s confident in her capability to love. All this together means she’s going to be able to have more control over how the relationship plays out. And she’s excited to lead her younger guy through all the fun this unconventional relationship has to offer.