The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Dating Sites’ Names (NSFW)

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Warning: The following content is graphic and will probably be offensive to one or more of your sensibilities. 

Ever meet a date in person only to discover that #hellaswoll really translates to #toomanysuperburritos? At this point, it’s safe to say that we all know how ridiculous online dating can be. We get to see the ridiculousness of the online dating world from a unique vantage point at DatePerfect, and it would be selfish to keep all that information to ourselves. Of course we can help you find the best dating sites, but did you know that DatePerfect can also help you find the most ridiculous dating sites? Human sexuality is a broad and fascinating topic: from MILFs to grannies and vampire lovers to armpit lovers, we promise this list won’t disappoint. Here’s another reminder that some sites are NSFW because… um, how could they not be?

10. ABDLmatch

If you’ve never heard this acronym, you’ll be excited to learn that the ABDL in ABDLMatch.com stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. *allows last sentence a moment to sink in*  I mean no disrespect if this is how you get down, but surely a diaper lover with a sense of humor would agree there’s potential for a good laugh here.

9. Vampire Dating Service

Yes, that’s right. Now there’s dating for vampires with VampireDatingService.com. Because, well, why not? Don’t get me wrong, I like a sexy vampire as much as the next person. Unfortunately, the similarities to Alexander Skarsgård seem to end at milky contact lenses.

8. Anal Slappers

You have to admit that AnalSlappers.com has a definite ring to it. Almost like it could be a punk band? Like, “I’m gonna go check out The Anal Slappers tonight down at the old Musty Trunk Saloon.” Now that’s an event where I’d show up early just to see the opening acts.

7. GetDivorcedDaring

You can see what they were trying to do if you look at the other dating sites this company owns: GetAsianDating.com, GetSeniorDating.com… But they may have missed the mark on GetDivorcedDating.com, a site for divorced singles to get met and connected, not to “get divorced.”

6. Foot Worship

The best part about FootWorshipPersonals.com is that they hit you right away with the bad puns: “Take a STEP in the right direction! Find a SOLE mate near you!” FYI- the capitalizations were their idea. Oh good, dad jokes meet foot fetish, just what we always wanted…

5. Armpit Lovers

You are preaching to the choir, ArmpitLovers.com! If loving armpits is wrong, then we don’t want to be right.

4. Pussy Saga

It’s like a graphic novel in many parts: PussySaga.com. Upon visiting the site, we realized we were disturbing a young elven fairy in her boudoir attending to some…personal matters.  Sorry for the disturbance, ma’am, but it looks like you might need help wielding that… device?

 

3. YouJizzMatch.com

The YouJizzMatch.com logo has been a topic of heated debate in our homes and around our dinner tables (thanks, we don’t remember asking for your feedback on our parenting style). After much back and forth, we have arrived at the tenuous agreement that testicles look more dignified with monocles.

2. PinkWink

10/10 on rhyme factor to PinkWink.com, a lesbian dating site. The imagery is… compelling.  Like, what else is there to even say?

1. EasyGranny

Okay, so we’re not sure what makes the name EasyGranny.com so appealing and hilarious, but it’s our favorite. Like, maybe granny knows time is of the essence so she’s lowered her standards and is just trying to up her lifetime bedpost tally before it’s too late? Whatever the reason, we are equally disturbed and amused. Maybe take it a little Easy, Granny?

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