6 Tips for Lesbian Dating: What You Need to Know When You Start Dating Girls


You are a female who has finally decided that you would like to date other women. Congratulations, we think you’ve made a good decision! Maybe you’ve dated men in the past and found the experience lacking, or maybe you have always known that you were a lesbian. Either way, chances are you’ll still need some help figuring out how to date another woman. We have some tips to help you get the type of relationship you want.

Don’t Be Cheap

Did you know that there’s a stereotype that lesbians are cheap? Where this stereotype comes from is anyone’s guess, but the reality is that it exists. You can avoid this by splurging on your dates a bit. You know that fancy new restaurant that just opened downtown? Well, it’s calling and it’s time to answer the call. Your date will be impressed and there might also be some good food in it for both of you.

Sharing Is Not Always Caring

There’s no need to reveal everything on a first date.  Don’t overshare about your personal life, especially your dating history. There’s no need to provide info about your ex partners when you’re meeting with a new potential partner. So shut up and enjoy that expensive spaghetti.

The truth is, no one really likes to hear about past relationships. Those topics of conversation only serve to make you feel more understood. You might also be making your date jealous or uncomfortable, because it may sound like you have lingering feelings for past partners. Take the high road and ask her about herself and then just listen. (Isn’t that spaghetti delicious?)

Let Things Develop Slowly

This is a rule that should apply to all types of relationships, not just lesbian dating. You can and should take things slowly in order to allow the relationship to develop naturally.

The pros at Datingadvice.com say that the best approach is a slow and steady one. Even if you think that you are ready to hop in bed with someone, they may not be ready. The fairytale marriage you’re planning in your head during dinner might not be your date’s plan.  Make sure you’re approaching this relationship with the care so that you give it a chance to develop the way it’s meant to.

Use Dating Apps

Dating apps get a bad reputation from a lot of people. But in general, if you’re dating women, the dating app experience seems to be a little better.

If you’re worried that your sexual orientation will narrow your dating pool, you can relax. There are plenty of lesbian-focused dating sites and apps available, so you can find exactly what you’re looking for. Using a lesbian dating app will help you get connected with other women who are interested in the same thing.

Put Your Listening Cap On

As human beings, we like to be listened to. It makes us feel important and cared about. In a romantic relationship,  being a good listener is really important. Did you know that a person who feels listened to is more likely to remain loyal over time? So, if you If you have an interest in the woman sitting across from you at that expensive place downtown, one of the best ways you can demonstrate this is by listening attentively.

So, like we said earlier, try the high road. Of course you could talk about yourself. But when you listen and ask questions, what you’re actually doing is putting the other person’s needs first. Is it getting hot in here, or are you just a good listener?

Look for Red Flags

Finally, don’t get so caught up in the excitement of the moment that you miss the red flags. Dating a woman can be incredible, but not if you find yourself dating a crazy one. What do we mean by red flags? When she starts talking about how she killed her ex’s cat or how she belongs to this amazing cult, maybe make that your cue to ask for the check.

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Kiara Noelle Kerr
The DatePerfect team is glad to feature the racy and sometimes inappropriate perspectives Kiara brings to the table. She loves getting to write highly opinionated op-eds and also enjoys penning articles with sensible answers to the most asked questions in online dating. With a whole lot of online dating experience under her belt and plenty of opinions to share, Kiara’s always got something to say. More than anything, she understands the plight of the modern dater and wants to help. Are you feeling baffled, frustrated, and overwhelmed by online dating? Let Kiara know and she’ll be more than happy to commiserate and add her two cents. Thanks for reading!


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