Should I Tell My Partner I Have HSV?


If you’re wondering about telling your partner that you have HSV, the time and the place vary depending on the person and the situation. The bottom line here is that although this can feel like a very scary topic of discussion, you have to find a way to get the dialogue started regardless the outcome. We’re here to help with a few of tips to help you through. Keep reading to fin out our tips for telling your partner that you have herpes.

Practice Makes Perfect

Instead of fumbling through a long explanation about how you contracted HSV, why you waited to tell them, and why you think it’s not as big a deal as they do, find some good friends and just practice saying the words out loud. Leave out all explaining and justifying and just say the simplest version of what’s true, something like “Before things go any further, I want to let you know that I have HSV.”

Just saying the words out loud to another person will help set you up for success. Remember that this may be a quick conversation, but that justifying or coercing a person while telling them will do more harm than good. Practice telling safe people and be open to feedback. The goal here is to get as comfortable as you can with an uncomfortable conversation.

Get Informed Before Talking

The best thing you can do before you have this talk is to get as informed about the condition and its treatment options as possible. Go to your GP and explain what you’re trying to do. Then ask for any helpful information they would suggest you share with a new potential partner.  Arming yourself with all the medical data will make it easier on you and your partner. For some people who are clueless about STDs, they might just assume the worst case scenario until they learn differently.

The Right Time to Talk

It doesn’t matter if you just met this person or you have been dating for a while, the best time to tell them about your HSV is before you get physically intimate. In this case, if you can sit them down and discuss your condition before things get hot and heavy, you allow them the opportunity to educate themselves and be fully informed before moving forward. Even if you’re planning on a casual relationship, your new partner deserves to know the status of your sexual health before they decide to be physically intimate. If you’re not ready yet to talk to them, you aren’t ready to be intimate either.

If you are STD positive, you’ll have to disclose that fact to your partner eventually. We think honesty is always the best policy. If you get comfortable having this conversation now, it will make all your future relationships easier.

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Samantha Elise Oscar
At DatePerfect, we're lucky to have Samantha as a regular contributor and key researcher. A dating expert at her core, Samantha's knowledge of the dating space spans many provocative topics, from marriage tips to sugar dating how-to's. Samantha has her finger on the online dating pulse and keeps us plugged in to dating's newest trends, most surprising twists, and biggest stories. Is there a topic you'd love to see Samantha cover? Please contact us if you have an idea for a future story and we'll get Samantha on it. Thanks for reading!


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